New Year's Eve

For most of the world, today is a holiday. It's the day people celebrate the end of one year, and the beginning of a new one. Most people make resolutions of some kind, reflect on the year that's passed, or just use it as an excuse to party. Growing up, New Year's Eve was always a time to celebrate, but it was rarely the start of a new year we were celebrating. We had a much more important reason to celebrate. Today is my big sister's birthday.

I think my most memorable New Year's found me crashing her party. It was Jenn, her best friend Marie, and by default, me watching fireworks on the tiny tv on our dresser while drinking Martinelli's. We shared a room, so Jenn had no choice but to include me. It was like that every year. We fought a lot as kids. We had very different personalities, but were forced to share a room. She put up with a lot from her little sister. I don't know how she didn't kill me. Jenn hasn't always had the best of birthdays. One year she ended up taking care of all 7 younger kids because Mom was in bed with pneumonia. I think she was 12. Jenn has always taken care of the family.

As we've gotten older, Jenn continues to be the one who keeps the family together. She was a newlywed my freshman year at college, but her house was always open to me. I think she's done the same for everyone who's gone to BYU. Her house is always the focal point of family celebrations. Everyone is always welcome. She loves to have her house full of family. Any time we gather, it's to her home. She cooks, she cleans, she provides couches and beds and blankets and pillows, she makes us all feel like it's our home. And even when we're not there, she finds ways to make us feel like we're loved and missed and wanted. This family would not be what it is without her. We are a cohesive family as adults because of the efforts of Jennifer. She deserves every bit of the credit, and I greatly appreciate it.

We don't fight anymore. We haven't in years. I feel blessed and lucky to have her as a sister. She is an amazing example to me. She is generous and loving and talented and flat out wonderful. So tonight I will be celebrating again. She won't be here with me. We'll be separated by many hundreds of miles, but I'll raise a glass of Martinelli's and toast the birth of my big sister, the wonderful Jennifer Nielsen. I love you, Jenn. Happy Birthday.

News

So I wanted to have something definite to report before I started talking about this, but we're having a medical issue in our house.

Tyler has vision problems.

He came home from school a few weeks ago after a routine vision screening and they said he has problems in one eye. So I took him to get his eyes checked and he does indeed. His left eye has perfect vision. His right eye has problems.

We've actually taken him to a couple doctors already. I was rather uncomfortable with the first doctor. She didn't seem very competent. She had no idea how to deal with kids, wasn't very thorough, and wasn't even willing to state her diagnosis with any certainty. So today's appointment was a second opinion. They said basically the same things, but this second doctor seemed to check a lot more things and had a plan to help fix things, whereas the first doctor had no solutions or suggestions, just a tentative diagnosis.

His problems start with severe farsightedness. I found that interesting because we're all nearsighted. But he's farsighted, at least in the one eye. Apparently he's been farsighted for a while, but has compensated with his other eye, so it wasn't obvious. The problem is that his brain stopped using his right eye, so now it's become a lazy eye. It doesn't manifest itself the same way Rachel's did. The muscles line up and track together, so there's no crossing or obvious signs, but he's not seeing anything out of that eye. Even with a corrective lens over it, he still can't see anything but the big E on the vision chart. The eye can be forced to focus, but it's not something it wants to do or does easily.

So we start with glasses. We get the correction he needs for the weak eye. But then we add in a patch. For 6 hours a day (not during school time, or he wouldn't really be able to function) he puts a patch over his strong eye to teach his brain how to use the other eye again. The doctor seems confident that with time and correction Tyler will be able to regain a great deal of vision in his eye. He'll always be farsighted in that eye, but not necessarily to the extreme that he is now. And once his brain gets used to using that eye, the correction over the eye will actually do him some good.

This will be my second child who's had a lazy eye. But they've manifested completely differently and been for completely different reasons. I don't know what kind of time frame we're looking at for Tyler, but I hope he responds well. He's excited to get glasses (and almost walked out of the store with the frames he chose still on his face). He hoped we got to sit in the waiting room while they made them so he could have them today. Unfortunately he has to wait a week. :( But when he gets the glasses and the patch, he also gets to do things like color and play video games on doctor's orders! He's pretty excited about that too.

I'll keep you updated as I learn anything new. But for now, I'd appreciate it if you could keep him in your prayers!

Merry Christmas to all!

It has been a most wonderful Christmas. Tonight I feel truly blessed.

My entire family was together for Christmas this year, something that hasn't happened at Christmas for several years. Unfortunately I was unable to be there with them. It's been a difficult week leading up to Christmas, knowing they would be together and I would be here. I already feel separated from them. With so many of them living so close together, it's difficult to not feel like an outsider from time to time. So to not be there once again was difficult and emotional for me. So I've tried to focus on the reason I wasn't able to be there, and to let my happiness in that, my gratefulness at being able to be with Jayme in the temple be the dominant feeling in my life. I've also tried to focus more on the joy that comes in celebrating the birth of the Savior of Men. I've felt my heart sing "Hallelujah" this season, even among the craziness that is the "Christmas season." And I feel the need to repeat the words of the well known song, "Joy, JOY, for Christ is born; the babe, the son of Mary." That joy has helped get me through the last few days when I thought the emotions of missing my family would overwhelm me. It truly is joy that Christ was born, and I'm grateful to feel that joy in my life.

And, of course, everything turned out right in the end. My own family was the picture of perfection. My children were well behaved and grateful for every single thing they got. I heard things like "I've wanted this my whole life!" and "How does Santa know EVERYTHING we want?!" and even "Oh cool, SOCKS!" from my kids. They were excited and happy and had a wonderful day. Scott played with the kids, helped clean my kitchen, and managed a thoughtful and generous Christmas for me. Scott will be the first to admit he's not the best at gift giving, but he did an outstanding job this year. He even left me speechless with the strand of pearls that were in my stocking. They are SO beautiful, and it was completely unexpected. And my family found a way to make me feel included, even from more than a thousand miles away. I didn't get my actual presents from my siblings, but it didn't matter. The little book Jenn made me to hint at it is as much as I needed. It was so thoughtful and made me feel loved and appreciated and like part of the family. Even now, at the end of the day, I still tear up when I think about it. I love them all so much, and it was killing me that I couldn't be there with them. But their thoughtful gift made all the difference in the world. And knowing in addition to that they made a serious effort to record as much of their gatherings as they could so I could experience it later really touches me. I can't express how much I appreciate what they did.

And late last night, someone (we know not who) dropped a HUGE stocking off on our doorstep full of great stuff! Coloring books and crayons and teddy bears and oranges and apples and nuts and all kinds of great stuff for my family! It was a great way to end our Christmas Eve, and started our Christmas morning off so well.

At the end of Christmas day last year, I was in tears. It was a difficult and disappointing day all around. I felt like an afterthought to my immediate family, unappreciated and forgotten, and too distant from my siblings and parents to make a difference. I spent Christmas afternoon breaking up fights and cleaning the huge mess that is Christmas morning. My kids even complained about the home made cinnamon rolls because they think they don't like raisins! I think my lack of Christmas spirit this year is in a great deal tied to my disappointment over last year. Tonight I find myself again in tears, but for completely opposite reasons. My house didn't get cleaned, but that's because we were playing together in it, and with the new things we received and loved. This will surprise no one, but I would SO rather have a messy house after a great day together than a clean house with little happiness in it. Not that I need an excuse not to clean, but I think you get my point. :) It has truly been a day of joy and love, and I feel deeply blessed.

So I end tonight with a heart full of joy, gratitude, love, and appreciation for my children, my husband, my siblings, my parents, my friends, and my Savior. So again I say, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

'Tis the season...

...to be jolly, right? Then why do I feel so cranky?

I'm going to assume every one's lives have been busy considering the distinct lack of posts lately. I haven't even checked blogs in quite some time! So I can certainly understand why no one else has posted. I'll admit, though, that I miss the women of the family, their insights, their knowledge, the ins and outs of their days. I hope after Christmas is over you will all blog on all the many wonderful things you got to do together. I can't wait to hear about it!

Today is supposed to be my day at home. We planned on having a couple kids over this afternoon to have popcorn and watch Polar Express. After a week of running around with very little time at home, I was very much looking forward to 2 hours on the couch with my kids. Alas, it was just a dream.

Yesterday, at the request of the school after a vision screening that showed problems, I took Tyler in to see an optometrist. I don't really know the results yet. She said Tyler was severely far sighted in one eye, which had resulted in a lazy eye that wasn't responding to correction. That seems odd to me because even covering up his eye with perfect vision, he can read and see things up close, which would make him near sighted. So I don't know quite what's going on yet, but we have an appointment with another doctor next week. The problem is, after the exam, Tyler's "bad" eye started oozing. There was a lot of goop coming out of it. He doesn't have the goop today, but his eye is very red, swollen and puffy. Just looking at the boy you can see a huge difference in the size of his eyes. So not only do I have to go back up town, a place I was HUGELY relieved to leave yesterday, I have to go to COSTCO. That parking lot alone is a nightmare. It was the one place I would have absolutely refused to go, had I been given a choice. Walmart, if I must; the mall, if I had something I REALLY needed; but Costco, no way. But for the sake of my son, of course I'll do it. And before I knew I'd have to do this, I offered to watch my neighbor's kids while she went out to lunch with her mom. She ended up taking her older daughter with her because she's not feeling well and she's hoping to get her in to see a doctor, but I do have Nathan. So I'm off for another adventure, braving the traffic and rude people to go get Tyler checked out, extra kid in tow!

But, the brightest spot in my week happened last night. Scott came home with flowers for me. I was shocked! Flowers are a rare occurrence at my house. And not only did he come home with flowers, but he had a reason! Yesterday was the anniversary of the day he proposed to me 13 years ago. I didn't even know he KNEW the date, let alone that he remembered or would do something for it. It was a MUCH appreciated gesture at the end of a long and difficult day. It really means a great deal to me that he would remember and do something about it. The flowers are beautiful, but the thoughtfulness is an even greater gift.

So things are busy here. On the bright side, I'm done shopping, I've shipped everything that needs to be shipped, I've received almost everything being shipped to me, and I've even wrapped almost everything that needs to be wrapped! Now if only I could find Becca's stocking... :)
Oh, and I have a piece of carrot cake cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory just calling my name in my refrigerator right now. :D

There are always bright spots if you look for them. Maybe I'm not so cranky after all.