Do you trust your doctor?

I'm going to tell you the story of Jayme, in the hopes that this never happens to anyone else.

Coming home from her honeymoon in January, Jayme started experiencing shortness of breath. It was nothing major, and it passed, but it was the start of quite an ordeal for her.

Not long later she started having pain in her abdomen. It got so bad she went to the emergency room. Even though the pain was high and to the side, about mid ribs, they decided she needed her appendix removed. The pain didn't go away because it wasn't her appendix. They decided that it was kidney stones, so they sent her back to work with the advice that she should drink a lot of fluids. Again, they were wrong.

She's fortunate that she works in a medical center. She started feeling some pain in her leg and started limping. A doctor there told her she needed to go back to the emergency room. Her foot swelled up and turned purple while she waited. And the pain never let up.

After several weeks of pain, two wrong guesses by doctors, and an unnecessary surgery, they finally figured out what was wrong. She had TWO pulmonary embolisms (blood clots) in her lung, which is what was causing the pain, and a 21 inch blood clot in her leg.

So she had to have a tube surgically implanted to administer anti-coagulants in her leg and has been in the hospital for another week. She'll be on medication for at least 6 months to try to rid her body of the clots. This is a very serious medical condition, one that can easily kill a person. 15% of all sudden death cases are attributed to pulmonary embolism. This is something that they think started on her honeymoon in December, but it took until late February to get her correctly diagnosed. It's been a terrible ordeal for her and her new husband, one that could have been significantly easier if she'd been diagnosed correctly in the beginning.

Interestingly, one of the major causes of this kind of clot is forced immobility, like a long plane ride. Also, obesity and estrogen containing contraceptives can contribute, along with genetic factors. But most people get this kind of condition from riding in air planes.

So the moral of the story is this: if you have ANY doubt, get a second opinion. When it comes to your health and your body, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. If she'd insisted it was not her appendix, pain being in the wrong place and all, they might have found this earlier. But she deferred to her doctor, thinking he knew best. Not that I blame her at all. Almost of us would do the same. But we all need to be more proactive in taking care of ourselves, not automatically assuming our doctor knows best. I'd have been saved 3 months of a terrible emotional roller coaster if I'd insisted my doctor give me Ambien instead of all the other weird meds she put me on when I went in for insomnia. I'm coming to realize that, though there is a great deal of science in the practice of medicine, a lot of it is also educated guess work. So don't be afraid to take a stand, or get a second opinion, if you're at all unsure about what your doctor is telling you.
And if you experience any pain, especially in your leg, or unexplained shortness of breath after a long plane ride, go see your doctor immediately.

Are you serious?!

I can't believe it. Becca did it again. I'm just speechless. I don't know how in the world I am going to get through to this girl. I just don't want to go through the entire story, so I'm just going to go ahead and give you the picture of her resulting hair cut. And no, I didn't cut it myself. This is the best they could come up with. It hides the area she just cut and blends the areas still growing out. At least that's the idea...

Time to purge: SPT

The challenge for the week was this:

the other day, i was in my _____________, and i noticed this _______________. my only thought was, "why do i still have this hanging around my house?!?"

The ther day, I ws in my family room, and I noticed this crappy old stool. My only thought was, "Why do I still have this hanging around my house?!?"

This stool was cheap. It's bent and doesn't even sit flat. The seat is hard and uncomfortable. Originally it was meant for the kids to use at their computer desk, but they have other, much better options now. Why do I still have it? I have no idea. I'd sit on the floor before I sat on this thing. It's definitely time I get rid of it.

Party time!

Hooray for birthday parties!

At least that's what Becca would say. Today was her very "fantastic" birthday party. Fantastic, by the way, is Becca's new favorite word. She decided she wanted a party where people could dress up in whatever they wanted. She'd talked once about a princess party, but didn't want to exclude the boys, and didn't want to force anyone to be a princess who didn't want to be a princess. Her genious solution? A Halloween party.

We pulled out some of our favorite Halloween decorations and let everyone know they could dress up if they wanted. Then we went to work on games. She wanted creepy games, but not gross games. The list for the day included making spider cookies, pin the nose on the jack o' lantern, mummy wrap, count the candy, eye ball hunt, and hide-and-go-scare. Confused yet? I'll explain.

Spider cookies are made out of chocolate cookies, chocolate frosting, peel apart twizlers, and red hots for eyes. Pin the nose on the jack o' lantern is like pin the tail on the donkey. Mummy wrap is a take on the bridal shower game where you make a wedding dress out of toilet paper, but in this case you wrapped your partner up as a mummy. Count the candy was just a jar full of candy and the person who guessed the closest to the actual number got to keep it. Eye ball hunt was the most fun. There were golf balls with eyes drawn on them hidden in big bowls of slimy spaghetti noodles that they had to find. And hide-and-go-scare is like hide-and-go-seek, but you get to scare people as you find them. She had a wonderful time and loved every single game. All the kids seemed to really enjoy themselves.

But the best part may have been the cake. She decided she needed a creepy cake too. So we did a worm cake! Crushed up oreos for dirt, chocolate pudding for mud, coconut flakes dyed green for grass, and lots and lots of gummi worms. She was SO excited for her cake. It was a huge hit.

Becca, my Becca

A year ago I celebrated Becca's birthday with a list of 25 things I love about her. We're all ready to her birthday again! Where did the last year go? I thought about just re-posting that list, but a little girl at age 5 changes quite a lot from year to year. Her list from last year is absolutely still valid, but I thought I'd add to it a little with ways she's developed over the last year.

1. She is vehement in her opinions.



2. Before she'll admit to anything, she always has to ask,"Are you going to be mad?"



3. She doesn't back down from anything, and can't be talked out of what she wants.



4. She has the loudest scream I've ever heard.



5. She says the funniest, most creative things.



6. She loves with her entire being.



7. She lights up when she learns something new.



8. Her favorite thing in the world is a "bed date" with Mommy where we snuggle under blankets and read books all morning.



9. She can't WAIT to be a kindergartner.



10. She charms every single person she meets.



11. She doesn't need to know everything about you, or even your name, before she'll call you her friend.



12. She is physically incapable of cleaning without someone pointing out exactly what to pick up and exactly what to do with it.



13. She is the biggest, and worst, food sneak I've ever seen.



14. She loves the hand held vacuum, and is first to volunteer to use it.



15. She doesn't feel the need to conform. She does things HER way.



16. She loves to sing and dance.



17. Her hugs can cure anything.



18. She loves candles and fire as much as I do.



19. She's an adventurer at heart.



20. She wants to be helpful.



21. She comes up with some of the best random acts of kindness I've ever seen.



22. She loves glitter and pink and all things girly, but also loves dirt and goo and all things gross.



23. She's not afraid to admit when she's scared.



24. She will never go to bed on time.



25. She has more love in her little body than any two other people I know.

I am so lucky to have this little girl in my life. The Lord sure knew what he was doing when he sent her to me. He knew I needed her. I needed her love, her joy, her exuberance, her stubbornness. My wonderful baby girl turns 5 years old today, and I can't wait to see what the next year will bring.

My first SPT!

I've decided I might like to join the ranks of the SPT posters. So here it is, my first SPT!

25th Hour:

I was really torn about this one. There are a lot of things I'd like to do with an extra hour to myself. My first inclination was read. My second was nap. I also thought about how much I'd love to take a class, go back to school, improve my cooking skills, or practice piano (which ALMOST made the cut). But I thought about what would actually make me happier if I were to do it on a regular basis, and my answer became very clear.

(Warrior Pose)

If I could do anything I wanted, just for me, with no distractions, it would be to exercise. I've done the whole gym thing, and I still go from time to time, but I've found another form I think I like better. Yoga. I've been surprised at how hard it is, how much it works my body, and how good it makes me feel. Weight lifting and elliptical machines definitely have their place in my routine, but lately it's seemed too aggressive. Yoga gives me a difficult workout, but in a way that seems much more peaceful. When I'm done I feel energized and relaxed. Most of the time, when I find the time, I'm fighting kids or worrying about making dinner, or one of a hundred other things. So if I had an hour just to myself with absolutely no distractions, I would spend it doing yoga.

It doesn't happen often

It's snowing! Well, it's stopped for now, but it snowed last night. And it's supposed to snow off and on for most of the week. So today kids are out of school and excited to be out playing in it. We've already had a snowball fight (all three of them ganged up on me!), tried to build a snowman (the snow is too powdery to stick together very well) and been back and forth between neighbor's houses several times. Last year it took more time to get my kids bundled up than they spent outside. Today was better. They were out for almost two hours before asking to come back in. That has to be a record for them. So now they're sitting around the table with their hot chocolate while everything goes in the dryer in preparation for their next outing. They've done the front yard. Next they want the still untouched back yard. Rachel at first said she didn't want to go outside at all, but to have this much snow all at once is fairly rare around here. In the end I was able to convince her. I even pulled out my old Doc Martens so I could go out too. I'm so glad I did. Being out there with my kids was so fun! I even learned from Jenn's example and turned the camera around to get myself in a picture. Otherwise there would have been no proof that I too braved the elements and played in the snow.

The blessings just keep coming

Every experience I've had in the temple has been unique and wonderful. Today was no different. I went this morning with a couple women from my ward. That in and of itself is pretty unique. I've never gone with a couple friends just because we wanted to. When we walked into the chapel, I was surprised to see my mother in law sitting at the front of the room. I'd forgotten she was called to be a temple worker a couple months ago. Not only was today her day to work, but she worked in my session. I didn't really see much of her during the session itself, but when it came time for the veil, I was directed over to her. I am so glad I was. To have that experience there at the veil with her at my side was so very poignant for me. I am at a loss for words to describe what a special experience it was. I felt today like I got a glimpse of what it might be like in the world to come. I can't express how grateful I am to have had that experience. Every time I go to the temple I am grateful I went, and I always come away feeling like I've been blessed for my service. When I was there last month, I felt a special blessing on behalf of my family, and like good things happened directly because of the sacrifice it was to be there that day. Today I feel that blessing especially strongly. But this time it was deeply personal, specifically for me. Gratitude doesn't begin to describe my feelings. I will forever be grateful to have had this experience, and for the slight parting of the veil I felt while I was there.

Mahana, you ugly, get out of that tree!

For our Young Women's activity last night, we watched Johnny Lingo. It was the newer version from a few years ago, not the short version put out by the church in the 60's. We've always talked about that movie in terms of Mahana's experience, how she was treated badly by her father and the village, and made to believe she was nothing. Then Tama comes along and offers 8 cows for her, revealing to her and the village that she is much greater than anyone thought. I like the message that we shouldn't base our self worth on the opinions of others. I think it's an important message for the young women in this day when so much of what others think of us is based on superfluous things rather than the salient. Too much consideration is given to labels and clothes and cars and where you live or other meaningless details while not enough is given to the truly important things like honesty, character, and integrity. But in watching the movie last night, I realized another point of view.

Now it's been several years since I've seen the original version of Johnny Lingo, so I don't remember it much. But in this newer version, a lot of time is given to Tama and his life. He is likewise treated badly by the people of the island. He is passed from house to house, each one worse than the last. He's picked on by the boys of the island and made to feel, by all, that he is a curse brought to that island. He eventually leaves the island to escape what is sure to be a difficult and meaningless life and ends up in the home of Johnny Lingo. He eventually learns that he is in fact the son of a chief of another island, and he was always loved and missed and important to them. He also proves himself to Johnny Lingo, eventually being rewarded with all that he has, as well as the illustrious name. He is not a nothing, or a curse, as he was told all his life. We think of this as a movie showing the true worth of Mahana, but I think it also shows the true worth of Tama, a perspective I'd never thought of before.

When he goes back to the island to get Mahana, he goes back not as Tama, but as Johnny Lingo. He is rich and handsome and all the women of the island swoon over him. All, that is, except Mahana. She calls him a peacock and wants nothing to do with him. To her, riches meant nothing. She was more concerned with the worth of the person rather than the outside trappings. Character, not clothes; integrity, not riches were of value to her. She understood that the inside was truly what mattered. It wasn't just that she was revealed to be beautiful in the end, it was that she recognized where a person's true value lay, and she possessed the same values herself. Tama recognized that she was different and that she put more value on the truly important things rather than what was generally thought of as important. I think that is what made her worthy to be an 8 cow woman, not the beauty that was hidden by years of neglect and abuse. It was the beauty on the inside that was finally allowed to surface that made her a truly beautiful woman in the end. So the lesson of this movie was not just that we should never allow our self worth to be determined by others, as both Mahana and Tama learned, but also that we should never judge others on the outside trappings of life, but rather on the character and integrity they show.

Dance Festival

Back when I was a kid, the youth of our stake got to participate in a multi-stake dance festival. It was an elaborate production, with hundreds of kids, many dances, and pretty fantastic costumes. At least, that's how I saw it. From the outside. Alas, I was too young to participate. I was heartbroken as I watched Jenn and Ben practice and rehearse. To me, the Axel F song was the coolest thing I'd ever seen. I'm not jealous by nature, but I was jealous then. I so badly wanted to be there dancing too. It was such a unique opportunity, and one that did not come up again during my time as a youth.

A couple months ago I was called to be Laurel Advisor in my ward. I actually have it pretty easy. I teach the lessons on Sunday, and am asked to come to weekday activities, but not asked to be in charge of them or even involved in the planning. Not long after being called, I learned that the youth of our ward and stake were about to start practices for... an 11 stake dance festival.

Now I don't get to dance in this one either, but it's ok. Last month I went to a practice session for leaders where they taught us the amazing waltz these kids get to do. Even with a little waltz experience myself, it was tough for me! There are some pretty tricky formations these kids have to master. But it's a beautiful dance, choreographed by a local dancer in Gig Harbor. Then last night 3 wards of youth met together to start the first official practice for the dances.

There will be one group dance that all 11 stakes will do. They showed us the moves before we heard any music, and after the second combination they showed, I thought to myself, "This looks a lot like a High School Musical dance number..." It is. :) We're learning the dance to We're All In This Together! As I looked around the room, I noticed a vast majority of the leaders were standing along walls or hiding in the back of the room. Not me. I was side by side with Melanie Lopez, the secretary in YW for my ward, in the front row learning the dance! I had such a great time. We didn't learn a lot of it, but enough that I could come home and impress my kids that I knew this dance they'd seen on tv so often. :) I was pretty sure before I went that I was going to enjoy myself, but even I was surprised at how much FUN I was having!

Then we got started on the waltz. They started by teaching, not the box step as I'd assumed, but a straight line waltz. It actually makes some sense since there is quite a bit of straight waltzing, but they're going to have to teach these kids how to TURN while waltzing! The first couple attempts by these kids made me laugh! You could tell they really wanted to do it right, but really had no idea how. But they picked it up faster than anyone thought they would. It was expected we'd do nothing but practice waltzing solo around the room for the night, but they were so good, they taught them one of the first segments of the song! I was really impressed with those kids. They were focused and serious while still having fun and enjoying the dance. You really couldn't have asked for a better first practice from them.

I think this will be a really great experience for these kids, one they'll remember for a long time. How often do teenagers get to dress up in beautiful clothes and waltz around a packed arena? For some kids, never. I didn't get to participate in the one done years ago, but being able to be a part of this, even just as a leader there to help them learn, has been pretty great for me. It's almost even erased my jealousy at not being able to participate in the one 20 years ago. :)

Oh, and the highlight of my evening! Everyone was lined up, boys on one side, girls on the other, before learning the first section of the dance. I was at the very back of the line. Brother Belliston made a comment that he knew Viennese Waltz, but it was different from what he was seeing the kids do. Then he grabbed me and started waltzing me down the center aisle between where everyone was lined up! It was fantastic! He was pretty good too. It was a great cap to what was a great night, and a great beginning to what should be a great 6 months preparing for this dance festival.

I'm thankful for...

As part of my desire to be more thankful in my life, I decided I'd randomly throw out posts of things I'm thankful for right at this moment. I used to post fizzy joys in my blogs, and I may get back to that, but for now I want a way to record some of the goodness in my life. Since I never get around to actually writing in a journal, the rest of you get to read it all. :)

Right now I am thankful for:

• a husband who does dishes
• Jeri and I are talking again after months of misunderstandings and assumptions
• I got to spend half an hour reading books in bed with Becca
• cough medicine
• my kids have excellent teachers
• warm socks

That's it for now. It all may seem a bit silly, but it's important to me, and that's all that matters. I'm looking forward to posting more in the future!

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

-Woody Allen

A New Chapter

Tyler has joined the ranks of glasses wearing folks! He was so excited to go pick up his glasses today. When he heard they were done, his response (as is pretty typical for him) was, "SWEET!" I'm not sure he's quite as in love with them now that he realizes they can be a bit uncomfortable, but he does notice a difference in how well he sees. He says everything is bigger with his glasses. I'm actually really glad to hear that. I was worried he wouldn't notice a difference and would wonder why he had to wear the things. On the way home, he spent the entire time reading off signs to me. He's always been a kid who would read things like speed limit signs, but he was doing it WAY more tonight than he ever has. If you look at the picture, you can see one eye is magnified while the other looks normal. Since one eye doesn't actually need correction, there's a pretty noticeable difference. Hopefully with time and dedicated use of the patch they'll even up a bit. But for now, he's in love with his blue Power Rangers glasses. I'm excited for him. I'm excited he gets to see better. I'm so thankful we were able to catch this problem and that it's fixable to a certain extent. I'm thankful that he's excited and eager to wear his glasses (and he says his patch, but we'll see how that goes). So far this has been nothing but positive. Of course I wish his eyes were perfect, but since they're not, this is a situation that has to be dealt with, and except for our first experience with the seemingly inept doctor at Costco, it's all gone extremely well. I really couldn't ask for any more.

Go Hawks!

Today is Wild Card Weekend in the NFL. That means the start of the playoffs. For the 4th year in a row Seahawks enter the playoffs as the Champions of the NFC West. And, surprisingly, we go in as the underdog in this game. We're a higher seed in the tournament, but not favored by any of the experts. Why is that, you ask? Because we're playing the red hot Washington Redskins. In case you haven't been paying attention, I'll fill you in on what's been going on. The Redskins lost one of their best players earlier this season when he was shot and killed during a botched robbery attempt. He wasn't expected to be home because of an away game the day before, but he was. And someone foolishly brought along a gun to try to rob what they thought was an empty house. It's been a very emotional loss for the entire team, and they really feel like they're playing for him. Since his funeral, they haven't lost a game. Plus they're coached by a Hall of Fame coach, Joe Gibbs, who is generally considered to be a genius coach. So even though we're third seed to Washington's 6th seed, nobody expects us to win. We'll see. I think the experts have over-estimated just how far emotion can carry you. I have to think their 4 must win games in a row, as well as a short practice week, have to take a serious toll on a team. I'm not sure they have any reserves left to pull out another win against what the Seahawks bring to the table. And they've under-estimated the 4 pro bowl starters on our defense. Our running game is a bit sketchy. Shaun Alexander has pretty much been a non-factor all year. But our defense is pretty darn remarkable. You can't stop these guys. There are so many play makers, you don't know who to block or even who to watch out for. And you should never under-estimate the 12th man. Quest Field is the loudest stadium in football. Our fans are enthusiastic and loud. We cause more false start penalties because of noise than any other team in football. It'll be tough, but I think we can pull out a win. Mostly I'm excited that we're playing on a Saturday afternoon instead of a Sunday so I can just sit and enjoy the game, the whole game, without feeling guilty that I'm watching football on a Sunday. It should be an excellent game. I'll be watching, dressed in my 12th Man jersey, cheering on my home town team. Even if you don't join me, that's ok. I'm going to enjoy my afternoon. Win or lose, I love these guys. GO HAWKS!!

UPDATE: It was a most excellent game. Our defense dominated the first half, but seemed to fall apart a bit in the 3rd quarter. In a matter of 2 minutes and 15 seconds, we went from up 13-0 to down 14-13. Then we lost the ball to an interception in the next drive. It looked like Washington might blow us out in the 4th quarter. Then our defense woke up again. Assisted by 2 interceptions returned for touchdowns, we pulled out a pretty convincing win. Final score: 35-14! Gotta love these guys. Next up, the Green Bay Packers. I'll say it again; GO HAWKS!!

Don't call it a resolution

This is the time of year everyone is making resolutions. Unfortunately, most resolutions don't last as long as the leftovers. I don't want to call this a resolution. It just so happens that I got some good information at this time of year I want to implement, but it's not a "resolution."

A few days before Christmas one of the girls who teaches gymnastics to my kids posted a blog on her MySpace page. It was about a report she saw on the news about natural ways to decrease stress. She assumed it would include things like teas, massages, and the like. She was surprised when she watched the report because it was nothing of the kind.

What they said was that it is physically impossible to be stressed and thankful at the same time.

I thought about that for a few minutes and decided I didn't believe it. I could be thankful and stressed at the same time. I didn't see any reason their claim was true. But I decided to put it to the test anyway. Boy was I surprised.

The last 10 days of the year were pretty crazy for me. With Christmas and wedding stuff filling up my days, in addition to Tyler's eye issues and all the normal business of life, I was anticipating a pretty stressful time. Under normal circumstances, it would have been a very stressful time. But every time I started to feel the pressure of the stress, I would pause and try to think of something I was thankful for. I was amazed at how quickly I calmed down and relaxed. It really works!

The report stated you needed to be truly thankful for this to work, and I believe that to be true. But I took it one step further. Not only did I try to be thankful, but I tried to think of something about the situation that was stressing me out that I could be thankful for. Instead of stressing at my super tight time line the day of the wedding, I was thankful I was asked to be a part of such a special day. Instead of stressing over Tyler and his eyes, (something I still want to stress over!) I'm thankful we have medical insurance to help pay for treatment, and that I live in a time when medicine is able to help him. Instead of stressing out when I came down with the flu 2 days before Christmas, I was grateful I had a husband who was able and willing to step in and take care of the kids while I was sick in bed. What could have been a very stressful time for me was anything but. I was able to enjoy every day, every experience, every moment. Well, maybe not the flu so much, but I didn't get stressed over being sick so close to Christmas.

This has been so successful for me, it's a behavior pattern I want to continue. Who doesn't want less stress in their lives? I really didn't believe it could be so simple, but I put it to the test, and it really does work. I'm less stressed, and much happier. All for something as simple as being thankful. Right now I am especially thankful for Kenna and the blog she posted that taught me such a valuable lesson!

This isn't a resolution. This isn't a way to improve myself for the new year, or something that will be gone before the cookies and candies. This is a way of living that I've tried and loved and want to continue. It just happens to coincide with the start of a new year.

New Year's Eve

For most of the world, today is a holiday. It's the day people celebrate the end of one year, and the beginning of a new one. Most people make resolutions of some kind, reflect on the year that's passed, or just use it as an excuse to party. Growing up, New Year's Eve was always a time to celebrate, but it was rarely the start of a new year we were celebrating. We had a much more important reason to celebrate. Today is my big sister's birthday.

I think my most memorable New Year's found me crashing her party. It was Jenn, her best friend Marie, and by default, me watching fireworks on the tiny tv on our dresser while drinking Martinelli's. We shared a room, so Jenn had no choice but to include me. It was like that every year. We fought a lot as kids. We had very different personalities, but were forced to share a room. She put up with a lot from her little sister. I don't know how she didn't kill me. Jenn hasn't always had the best of birthdays. One year she ended up taking care of all 7 younger kids because Mom was in bed with pneumonia. I think she was 12. Jenn has always taken care of the family.

As we've gotten older, Jenn continues to be the one who keeps the family together. She was a newlywed my freshman year at college, but her house was always open to me. I think she's done the same for everyone who's gone to BYU. Her house is always the focal point of family celebrations. Everyone is always welcome. She loves to have her house full of family. Any time we gather, it's to her home. She cooks, she cleans, she provides couches and beds and blankets and pillows, she makes us all feel like it's our home. And even when we're not there, she finds ways to make us feel like we're loved and missed and wanted. This family would not be what it is without her. We are a cohesive family as adults because of the efforts of Jennifer. She deserves every bit of the credit, and I greatly appreciate it.

We don't fight anymore. We haven't in years. I feel blessed and lucky to have her as a sister. She is an amazing example to me. She is generous and loving and talented and flat out wonderful. So tonight I will be celebrating again. She won't be here with me. We'll be separated by many hundreds of miles, but I'll raise a glass of Martinelli's and toast the birth of my big sister, the wonderful Jennifer Nielsen. I love you, Jenn. Happy Birthday.

News

So I wanted to have something definite to report before I started talking about this, but we're having a medical issue in our house.

Tyler has vision problems.

He came home from school a few weeks ago after a routine vision screening and they said he has problems in one eye. So I took him to get his eyes checked and he does indeed. His left eye has perfect vision. His right eye has problems.

We've actually taken him to a couple doctors already. I was rather uncomfortable with the first doctor. She didn't seem very competent. She had no idea how to deal with kids, wasn't very thorough, and wasn't even willing to state her diagnosis with any certainty. So today's appointment was a second opinion. They said basically the same things, but this second doctor seemed to check a lot more things and had a plan to help fix things, whereas the first doctor had no solutions or suggestions, just a tentative diagnosis.

His problems start with severe farsightedness. I found that interesting because we're all nearsighted. But he's farsighted, at least in the one eye. Apparently he's been farsighted for a while, but has compensated with his other eye, so it wasn't obvious. The problem is that his brain stopped using his right eye, so now it's become a lazy eye. It doesn't manifest itself the same way Rachel's did. The muscles line up and track together, so there's no crossing or obvious signs, but he's not seeing anything out of that eye. Even with a corrective lens over it, he still can't see anything but the big E on the vision chart. The eye can be forced to focus, but it's not something it wants to do or does easily.

So we start with glasses. We get the correction he needs for the weak eye. But then we add in a patch. For 6 hours a day (not during school time, or he wouldn't really be able to function) he puts a patch over his strong eye to teach his brain how to use the other eye again. The doctor seems confident that with time and correction Tyler will be able to regain a great deal of vision in his eye. He'll always be farsighted in that eye, but not necessarily to the extreme that he is now. And once his brain gets used to using that eye, the correction over the eye will actually do him some good.

This will be my second child who's had a lazy eye. But they've manifested completely differently and been for completely different reasons. I don't know what kind of time frame we're looking at for Tyler, but I hope he responds well. He's excited to get glasses (and almost walked out of the store with the frames he chose still on his face). He hoped we got to sit in the waiting room while they made them so he could have them today. Unfortunately he has to wait a week. :( But when he gets the glasses and the patch, he also gets to do things like color and play video games on doctor's orders! He's pretty excited about that too.

I'll keep you updated as I learn anything new. But for now, I'd appreciate it if you could keep him in your prayers!

Merry Christmas to all!

It has been a most wonderful Christmas. Tonight I feel truly blessed.

My entire family was together for Christmas this year, something that hasn't happened at Christmas for several years. Unfortunately I was unable to be there with them. It's been a difficult week leading up to Christmas, knowing they would be together and I would be here. I already feel separated from them. With so many of them living so close together, it's difficult to not feel like an outsider from time to time. So to not be there once again was difficult and emotional for me. So I've tried to focus on the reason I wasn't able to be there, and to let my happiness in that, my gratefulness at being able to be with Jayme in the temple be the dominant feeling in my life. I've also tried to focus more on the joy that comes in celebrating the birth of the Savior of Men. I've felt my heart sing "Hallelujah" this season, even among the craziness that is the "Christmas season." And I feel the need to repeat the words of the well known song, "Joy, JOY, for Christ is born; the babe, the son of Mary." That joy has helped get me through the last few days when I thought the emotions of missing my family would overwhelm me. It truly is joy that Christ was born, and I'm grateful to feel that joy in my life.

And, of course, everything turned out right in the end. My own family was the picture of perfection. My children were well behaved and grateful for every single thing they got. I heard things like "I've wanted this my whole life!" and "How does Santa know EVERYTHING we want?!" and even "Oh cool, SOCKS!" from my kids. They were excited and happy and had a wonderful day. Scott played with the kids, helped clean my kitchen, and managed a thoughtful and generous Christmas for me. Scott will be the first to admit he's not the best at gift giving, but he did an outstanding job this year. He even left me speechless with the strand of pearls that were in my stocking. They are SO beautiful, and it was completely unexpected. And my family found a way to make me feel included, even from more than a thousand miles away. I didn't get my actual presents from my siblings, but it didn't matter. The little book Jenn made me to hint at it is as much as I needed. It was so thoughtful and made me feel loved and appreciated and like part of the family. Even now, at the end of the day, I still tear up when I think about it. I love them all so much, and it was killing me that I couldn't be there with them. But their thoughtful gift made all the difference in the world. And knowing in addition to that they made a serious effort to record as much of their gatherings as they could so I could experience it later really touches me. I can't express how much I appreciate what they did.

And late last night, someone (we know not who) dropped a HUGE stocking off on our doorstep full of great stuff! Coloring books and crayons and teddy bears and oranges and apples and nuts and all kinds of great stuff for my family! It was a great way to end our Christmas Eve, and started our Christmas morning off so well.

At the end of Christmas day last year, I was in tears. It was a difficult and disappointing day all around. I felt like an afterthought to my immediate family, unappreciated and forgotten, and too distant from my siblings and parents to make a difference. I spent Christmas afternoon breaking up fights and cleaning the huge mess that is Christmas morning. My kids even complained about the home made cinnamon rolls because they think they don't like raisins! I think my lack of Christmas spirit this year is in a great deal tied to my disappointment over last year. Tonight I find myself again in tears, but for completely opposite reasons. My house didn't get cleaned, but that's because we were playing together in it, and with the new things we received and loved. This will surprise no one, but I would SO rather have a messy house after a great day together than a clean house with little happiness in it. Not that I need an excuse not to clean, but I think you get my point. :) It has truly been a day of joy and love, and I feel deeply blessed.

So I end tonight with a heart full of joy, gratitude, love, and appreciation for my children, my husband, my siblings, my parents, my friends, and my Savior. So again I say, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

'Tis the season...

...to be jolly, right? Then why do I feel so cranky?

I'm going to assume every one's lives have been busy considering the distinct lack of posts lately. I haven't even checked blogs in quite some time! So I can certainly understand why no one else has posted. I'll admit, though, that I miss the women of the family, their insights, their knowledge, the ins and outs of their days. I hope after Christmas is over you will all blog on all the many wonderful things you got to do together. I can't wait to hear about it!

Today is supposed to be my day at home. We planned on having a couple kids over this afternoon to have popcorn and watch Polar Express. After a week of running around with very little time at home, I was very much looking forward to 2 hours on the couch with my kids. Alas, it was just a dream.

Yesterday, at the request of the school after a vision screening that showed problems, I took Tyler in to see an optometrist. I don't really know the results yet. She said Tyler was severely far sighted in one eye, which had resulted in a lazy eye that wasn't responding to correction. That seems odd to me because even covering up his eye with perfect vision, he can read and see things up close, which would make him near sighted. So I don't know quite what's going on yet, but we have an appointment with another doctor next week. The problem is, after the exam, Tyler's "bad" eye started oozing. There was a lot of goop coming out of it. He doesn't have the goop today, but his eye is very red, swollen and puffy. Just looking at the boy you can see a huge difference in the size of his eyes. So not only do I have to go back up town, a place I was HUGELY relieved to leave yesterday, I have to go to COSTCO. That parking lot alone is a nightmare. It was the one place I would have absolutely refused to go, had I been given a choice. Walmart, if I must; the mall, if I had something I REALLY needed; but Costco, no way. But for the sake of my son, of course I'll do it. And before I knew I'd have to do this, I offered to watch my neighbor's kids while she went out to lunch with her mom. She ended up taking her older daughter with her because she's not feeling well and she's hoping to get her in to see a doctor, but I do have Nathan. So I'm off for another adventure, braving the traffic and rude people to go get Tyler checked out, extra kid in tow!

But, the brightest spot in my week happened last night. Scott came home with flowers for me. I was shocked! Flowers are a rare occurrence at my house. And not only did he come home with flowers, but he had a reason! Yesterday was the anniversary of the day he proposed to me 13 years ago. I didn't even know he KNEW the date, let alone that he remembered or would do something for it. It was a MUCH appreciated gesture at the end of a long and difficult day. It really means a great deal to me that he would remember and do something about it. The flowers are beautiful, but the thoughtfulness is an even greater gift.

So things are busy here. On the bright side, I'm done shopping, I've shipped everything that needs to be shipped, I've received almost everything being shipped to me, and I've even wrapped almost everything that needs to be wrapped! Now if only I could find Becca's stocking... :)
Oh, and I have a piece of carrot cake cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory just calling my name in my refrigerator right now. :D

There are always bright spots if you look for them. Maybe I'm not so cranky after all.

Hilary, my new hero.

Today I had the opportunity to once again work in the Youth Center in the temple. I was really excited to be able to do this again. To me, it's one of the best things I've done in the temple. And today may have been the best yet. But I have to admit, when I got there today, I was a little confused about the family coming in.

According to their information sheet, there were three boys, ages 10, 14 and 16, and a girl age 19. The three boys were to be witnesses only, the 19 year old girl was the one to be sealed, and it was listed as an adoption. I was having a really difficult time coming up with a scenario to make sense with the facts I had. Of course I wanted to know the story, but was too polite to ask details when the family came in. Fortunately, with no prompting, the young woman told us her story.

This is not her "natural" family. This is the family that introduced her to the gospel. She was baptized a year ago August, and when she did so, her own family disowned her. This new family continued to love and support her. She was in the pre-med program at UW, but transferred down to Utah State and changed her major to history, which was the final straw with her family. She said to imagine the worst possible scenario in telling her already estranged parents and that might come close to how bad it was with them. So with no ties to them, she was welcomed with open arms into her "new" family. She was even adopted by them, finalized last month.

But this isn't the end of her story. While in Logan she started experiencing some tingling and numbness in her right side, as well as terrible migraines. It got so bad she ended up taking a medical leave from school and coming home to undergo tests. They were worried she was having strokes, that she might have MS, an aneurysm, or several possibilities. I don't remember the name of what she has, but the long and short of it is that her migraines are literally paralyzing her. She was, at one point, completely paralyzed on her right side. With medical intervention and physical therapy she has regained some movement, but she's a long way away from full range of motion and can't even walk on her own. She was supposed to go to a live in physical therapy place, but they wouldn't guarantee she would be able to leave to attend the temple tonight, so she said no. Even though going would have significantly reduced the amount of time it would have taken her to regain her strength and mobility, she ultimately decided traditional physical therapy would have to do. Being in the temple to be sealed to her new family was her only priority. And she didn't regret her decision for a moment. That young woman was all smiles. She was grateful for the miracles that had gotten her to that point. She was amazing.

As were her new parents. They love that girl. They feel privileged to be a part of her life. They don't care about the physical problems, the medical bills, or even paying for college for one more than they planned for, years before they expected. She IS their daughter to them and they feel blessed to have her. Standing in that sealing room, seeing that family standing together newly sealed, 2 loving parents, a grateful daughter, and three boys so excited to have a brand new sister, I couldn't help but be grateful I was blessed enough to witness that miracle.

You've got to be kidding me

My lovely and not so obedient Becca got a hold of some scissors again. I'll tell you right off she didn't cut her hair again. Not this time. She cut her eyelashes. Yep, more than half, right in the center, on her right eye. There's very little left. I'm amazed that girl didn't do some serious damage to her eye. I'm not taking a picture of this one. I just can't....